The Self Education of Hazel T. Cat

There are four cats in our house between my fiance and myself. This was not entirely on purpose. Any owner of multiple cats understands. There’s a sort of accumulation that sneaks up on you. Though our orange cat, a particularly orange cat in the annals of cat behavior, was one of the ones we accumulated on purpose. Today I type of him. His name is Hazel, and his intelligence is sinister.

About a year back I hear the commonplace sound of peeing in the toilet. My home office shares the wall with the bathroom, so it’s not an unheard of sound to catch. So it took a few moments to register that I was in fact home alone. My fiance was traveling for work and I was doodling on the first issue of Backwood Folk. So who was in my bathroom? When I peek around the door, there is our orange cat, age five, casually using the facilities as intended. This new skill appeared unprompted and with zero coercing.

And look, I don’t leave the toilet seat up as a matter of habit, so I’m partially convinced he’s just a few weeks shy of understanding the mechanics of flushing as well. Is the long settled wisdom of the stupidity of the orange cat actually a long running ruse?

Ages back in a different house in a different town, my fiance strung a line of fairy lights around her window. A nice gesture in a house held together by nice gestures. That was in Fayetteville, so it certainly wasn’t the landlord holding the house together. The other cats (only a merciful two others at this point) met these lights with indifference and apathy.

Hazel, however, saw the light.

"my god, it's full of stars"

Hazel stared at that light as if he had discovered religion. Maybe that’s where the gears of consciousness resided. In the fairy lights above  my soon to be wife’s window sill.

I’ve told as many people of Hazel’s new talent over the last year as I know. Usually met with a guffaws and “yeah yeah sure’s” The occasional “wish I could see that.” The reason for this post reveals itself. This morning we finally have proof.

Till later days, keep safe and sturdy.

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